Expressed according to my own will

There's a reason for every smile,
There's a reason for every tear,
There's a reason for every worry,
There's a reason for everything.
It's just a normal procedure that we have to go through right?

But why does this procedure seemed so hard to endure every single time?
It seems to get much more complicated that it was the last time I have been through it.
I'm tired, wearing that cheery mask that I have to wear to make others happy.
It's sickening. Having to be looked down everytime.
Especially from those you feel so close.

Waking up into the cold reality just freaks me out.
Everything seemed to be really fast forward-ing.
You may say, I'M A SORE LOSER. I ADMIT.
But dont you feel lost when everything you treasured is about to disappear?
Or even when things you wish with your every last hope dont go your way?

Like people always say, if something/someone comes and blends into ur life.
You would never hope it would change in a way or other.
That includes the sad fact- leaving or changing how you are.
But as I always say, that's parcels of life.
Live in it, and expect it to happen.

Why cant reality be as good as it seemed in the past?
Or maybe in fact as always, what it seemed to be?

I'm sorry if you think you have wasted minutes of life reading this.
But I appreciate ur efforts. Thks.
As here is seriously the only dumpster I can afford to find to absorb my rantings
when I'm having my moodswings; cum emo-ing session.

Again, this post is brought to you by my mobile.
I hav no idea, how it's gonna look on a normal com.
But it's looking fine here w my e71. Haiis.
Batteries are soon die-ing. Bye people.

{Edit- Have alr changed abit of its looks w the com :D}